Score: 2

"omfg"

submission: the ugly

date: December 28, 2005

ok at first i thought it had some potential so i actually suffered through it to get to the end. wow.
enough of the slipknot, i <3 vampires, romanticized in a ted bundy kinda way of gore. you want gore? get a job as a cop, quit with this 14 year old "i cry blood when i get shot" crap. its a thousand times apparent that you are just bored and want something, anything, to happen, even if its something horrible. i can hardly rate this a "game" due to its entirely linear, Dragon's Lair style play. basically click the right buttons in the right order, learned by doing the wrong thing over and over and having the superhuman killer hear your every movement. same result. two deaths, one you get heard by turning a phone on or something, and then stabbed, and two, you see your half dead mom and then see a splash of blood. lame. im not against an ultra gorey game, or even one in which your parents are killed. but enough of this silly cartoony crap. killer is a giddy, rotten toothed, older man that has a U-shaped balding pattern. wow. how original. read a book. and the cut n paste graphics further remove your art style... would you rather be doing nickelodeon or salad fingers? youre neither.

Score: 10

"wow"

submission: The Non-Livingstons #001

date: April 24, 2005

this is hands down, the finest animation ive seen on newgrounds... i never thought id see a flash that impressed me more than the brackenwood series, but this was animated so smoothly, voiced so perfectly, perfectly timed, and such a great concept. incredible. i cant even pick apart individual things to speak of, because the entire piece was awesome...and the music selection was astounding!

Score: 3

"hmm"

submission: Kitten Cannon!

date: April 12, 2005

instead of a kitten, make it a penguin. and instead of a cannon, make it a yeti with a club. and only throw the head. i liked this game a lot better when it first came out...when it was called Pingu. its a blatant ripoff to the point there is no possible way you havent seen that game, HOWEVER...this is much improved and i still enjoyed it

Score: 7

"Looks cool...."

submission: Gutter Cat

date: March 31, 2005

but needs a replay button added onto the end- 'cause I'm lazy and don't want to wait through another load screen... but it was pretty good.

Score: 5

"keep reading"

submission: Batman's Greatest B...

date: March 28, 2005

just so you know batman's "ancient" history predates the shitty adam west series by thirty years. and he was much much darker when he first came out. when the series came out, it was during the eisenhower presidency, when everything was forced happiness. it was a time of war and no negative imagery was being portrayed. hence the creation of the uber-campy tv show... fans of the show didnt appreciate the dark knight, so they changed batman in the comics to match the horrible adam west version. its only within the last 15-20 years that batman has re-emerged as what he is: a psychotic millionaire, with emotional troubles far outgrossing those of the average slipknot fan. that in and of itself is dark. everyone knows that in the 60s batman was a joke, so this whole boner thing comes as no major surprise. mildly funny.

Score: 4

"well"

submission: Zero Instinct(TM) Trailer

date: March 28, 2005

to be constructive:
for your first real attempt, it looks pretty good. but then again, there really isnt much to it. a few minor redesigns of sonic and knuckles. they arent even vectorized. backgrounds are all lifted from video games. you yourself didnt put much serious effort into the creation of much of this imagery. however, for a first attempt, its looks good, and the 2.61 you currently have is pretty damned good for a first try. most get blammed off the face of the planet

Score: 1

"this is crap"

submission: The Newgrounds beta

date: March 28, 2005

what the hell does tom fulp's height have to do with anything? these questions are completely asinine, and wont even be relevant in 6 months. wait, not relevant now. and just so you all know...the prize is a low quality bmp of some naked girls wearing sombreros...so low quality you cant make out nipples, faces, breast sizes, or gender, really.
this is sub-par. oh and the answers are just a few reviews down

Score: 2

"jesus"

submission: dan vs nick pt 2

date: March 27, 2005

breakdown:
one for graphics, because they are just lifted from dragonball z. that in itself is the reason i clicked blam. you might not have traced dragonball z directly, but you obviously were looking at that crap while drawing. dragonball z blows goats. learn that soon, and well all feel better.
i gave a one for style, because not only did you copy dragonball graphics, you pretty much just recolored a couple characters. even the "holycrapimreallystrongandairisblowingupunderneathmemakingm
eopenmymouthangrily" thing. which sucks. style would also indicate there was some. there wasnt.
sound is a 4. predictable choices. but decently recorded.
violence is a 2, because ive been in fights. ive been in barfights. ive seen the matrix. ive seen every kung fu movie brought to america from jet li to bruce lee. ive also been around a while, still havent seen anyone flex so hard it made the wind blow.
interactivity is a zero...because interactivity was zero
humor, because this just is not funny.
i like anime. i like manga. meow mix meow mix please deliver. if you like action, rock on. dragonball z blows. my 9 year old cousin doesnt watch it because he says its "for kids"
youre older than 9 right? right?

Score: 4

"hmm"

submission: Warhammer:Montau Broken

date: March 26, 2005

its good to see a games workshop influenced flash, so major kudos for that. the artwork was majorly lacking though, and it was kinda herky jerky as far as scene progression. great effort, and for your first flash, that was phenomenal. great job with the intro menu.

Score: 8

"fuck babies"

submission: Medicated Baby-Heads

date: March 18, 2005

this is definitely a step up from the last N.Y. and its good to see something without Foamy. perusing through the reviews, however, makes me realize a couple of things. number one: nobody gives a shit if you have a kid or not. if you do, congratulations, you are the ultimate egomaniac, attempting to create a miniature version of you, to control and mold into another fucked up incomplete version of yourself. either way, dead babies are funny. always have been, always will be. wanna know why? because they are NOT REALLY DEAD!! for that matter, theyre not really REAL either!! and if you cant distinguish fact from a fuckin internet cartoon, youve got more issues than anything foamy could rant about.
number two: if you dont like neurotically yours, that is fine. in fact, thats great, it shows you dont go with the crowd and have some individualism. so keep that individualism to your damn self. if it has a strawberry with a clock on it, maybe youd like it more. personally i like things that are just a bit skewed. salad fingers is a LOT skewed. so i enjoy this series...sure it has its downpoints, but look how friggin many there are! if you didnt like one, try another!!! if it annoys you entirely...just walk away!
and big number 3!! when writing a review for an ongoing series from a prolific author, such as illwillpress, dave, super flash bros, or their ilk, dont act like a moron. read something else, check their site, watch another episode or clip. chances are, whatever comment you made or question you had will be answered or rectified or is currently BEING rectified. within 5 minutes of submitting a big name flash like this, there is a thousand reviews. think you REALLY need to say the same thing someone else did 5 times already? no, you dont...in fact, you dont need air either, so quit doing THAT.
and four: go look up ilk, you illiterate fucktard.